How it got started
"Team Ewan" was the brainchild of our wonderful friend Mary who wanted to gather all our friends, family, encouragers, supporters, and prayer warriors into a single Facebook page. The idea was to create one space for people to receive updates and send our family messages during my pregnancy and while we were in the hospital with Ewan.
Obviously, that has changed.
If you're looking for a blog about congenital heart defects (CHD), this probably isn't the place you're looking for. CHD is an important and undeniable part of our story, and while it is definitely something I care about, it is not the focus of this space. This space is about our journey through loss, grief, and moving on. It's about being honest about the good and the bad. It's about living in the tension that a loss of this magnitude creates, and finding grace there.
Why I still write here
It's true that write for myself, but in equal measure, it is also true that I write for grieving parents and those who care about them. Grief is a strange thing: one that is both private and public, both the same no matter who you are and entirely unique depending on the individual who is grieving. I also believe that grief is sacred. There are few things worse than the imposition of those who think you should not be sad, who offer reasons why it isn't so bad, who act as though your loss never happened, or who tell you outright just to snap out of it. Few things irk me more than anyone making light of what another has lost.
When we lost Ewan, I was fortunate to be connected to other mothers who had lived and were living through the trauma of similar losses. Though we all moved through our grief differently, there were many similarities in what we felt, experienced, and expressed. My mission here now is to give a voice to those thoughts, feelings, and experiences. I don't expect that what I express will resonate with everyone all the time, and that's perfectly okay. But when I hear that even one thing I've written resonated with another parent who has lost a child, it's validating and inspires me to continue. Grief is a vast and lonely space to be in, and the act of giving it a shape with words -- while it doesn't remove grief -- does something to help, to affirm for the bereaved that they aren't alone in this.
And so I continue, because connecting with others who find themselves in a similar spot is important. It is good for all of us to know that though each of us has to do the hard work of grieving on our own, none of us has to feel alone in the process.
I also write for those who care about and/or are compelled by our story. So many people found themselves connected to Ewan in a special way, and to what James and I went through. They care about who he is, and how our journey through life progresses. They haven't forgotten him, either. And so this space is also for honoring Ewan and remembering him together as -- inevitably -- the world keeps turning and time marches on, as things continue to change.
So, welcome. This space is for you.
Click here to join Team Ewanon Facebook in order to hear the latest updates, or just drop us a note!
You can also follow Team Ewan on Twitter: @teamewan.