The Belly Report :: 40 Weeks Pregnant

I toyed with the idea of renaming this particular installment in the belly series. The "Why the Heck Am I Still Pregnant?" Report. The "So Help Me, This Better Be the Last Post in This Series" Report.

Beware, a highly sensitive and hormonal pregnant lady is writing this post! There. You have been warned.

40 weeks pregnant. This is as much of a smile as I could muster!

I have to admit that as much as I've loved being pregnant and being able to provide my child with a protective and nurturing place to live and grow these past nine months, I have learned deep empathy with those pregnant ladies who I often heard lament that they were "so ready to be done" -- something that, for a variety of reasons that I'm sure are obvious, I hated hearing when I was pregnant with Ewan. I've been in tears more than once this week, hoping every minute of every day that all this season of anticipation would draw to a close and give way to the reality I've been dreaming of since we saw that first positive pregnancy test back in early May -- you know, the one where I'm holding a perfectly healthy baby and no one is coming to take her away.

On top of feeling this way, I feel guilty for feeling this way. I know plenty of moms who would have loved to carry children to full term, only to find themselves delivering their babies early due to circumstances entirely outside their control. Objectively, I recognize that I'm still pregnant precisely because it's in the best interests of the child developing inside. While Ewan did make his entrance at the earlier end of full term (37 weeks + 4 days), I believe it's because my body recognized it was going to be safer for him on the outside than the inside: I had been dealing with an extremely elevated level of stress for weeks on end. As hard as it is to think about, it got to the point where it was clearly going to be better for him to be born than to spend additional days and weeks inside me. So if anything, this teaches me to trust the hidden wisdom in all of this -- that I can trust the process, that I can do what I can to make things move along, but that this baby will be born when it's the best time.

My one comfort is that even when it feels like I'm going to be writing the Belly Report at 58 weeks pregnant, no one is meant to be pregnant forever. Pregnancy is a season that is meant to come to a close. It's just incredibly unfortunate that the emotional and physical readiness for the end of that season doesn't coincide more closely!

I feel huge, am incredibly hormonal, and in some hormone-induced twisted logic that only the brain of a woman this pregnant could muster, I feel like I'm disappointing and failing the other people waiting for her, too. I have enough logic left in my head to know that this most certainly isn't the case and that if I did have any real control over the matter, this baby would be out by now -- but when you're 40 weeks pregnant, incredibly sleep deprived (I kind of want to hurt people when they tell me to get "plenty of rest" -- dear Lord! I would if I could!), subject to hormones, and wanting finally to hold that little love in your arms, it all kind of makes sense.

Sigh. The good news is that things are still progressing normally and our little Austen girl is still at it doing her kung fu kicks. I kid you not, she's EVERY bit as active as she has been. And yes, there are yet MORE signs from my last appointment (this past Monday) that labor is around the corner (a slightly elevated BP, 2 pounds of weight loss, the belly has definitely dropped, and some others that I have the decency not publish on the internet). Yeay!! I've gotten probably one really good night of sleep in the past two weeks -- it's been so difficult to get much in the way of restful sleep at all (even naps) because of my size, Austen's activity level, and all that.

Not to be all Pollyanna about it, but this is what I've tried reminding myself: Every day that I'm still pregnant is one day closer to the day that she's finally born and in my arms.

Bah. I wish that made it easier!

I'm ready to write the Baby Report now. Whenever you're ready, Austen. Today would be a great day for me!! :o)

The Belly Report :: 39 Weeks Pregnant

Yep. 39 weeks. Here we are folks!!

The good news is that there are an increasing number of signs (about which I will remain mum, because as open as I am, even I am able to recognize when I am entering TMI territory) indicating that we're very, very close to having a baby around here. Here's to hoping there's no need for a Belly Report update next week. :o)

At this week's appointment, I was measuring 40 weeks, was at a total of 31 pounds of weight gain for the pregnancy, had a beautiful B/P, and found that baby girl is in a great position to be born. Her heart rate was hanging out in the 130s which may (hopefully? maybe? perhaps?) be one of several indications that we're ready to see some action somewhere in the vicinity of soon-ish. She's still pretty darn active (if you haven't yet, I suggest seeing the video I posted in the last post to see what I mean by "very active") which, at this size, I'm really feeling. I wonder what she's going to use those legs for once she's big enough? Kung fu? The Tour de France?

Mama NOT actually in labor.

Any day now, baby girl -- any day now. There's so much more room to stretch and kick out here!!

The Petermann house is in a perpetual state of readiness these days. Baby blankets and clothes have been laundered. All the necessary supplies are ready to be used. The bathrooms are clean, the carpets are freshly vacuumed, and I've got a meal or two that is ready to go for afterward.

Every day, I wake up saying: Today would be a great day to have a baby.

One of these days, I'll be right.

Tick tock, tick tock ...

P. S. Oh, and just a little reminder that we will announce our big news 1) When we have big news to announce, and 2) When we are good and ready to announce it. Feel free to check in on us if you will, but I won't be announcing when I'm in labor, and I won't be responding to inquiries asking me if I am or if she's here yet. Thanks again for respecting what this time means to us!!

ANY DAY NOW!! ...

The Belly Report :: 38 Weeks Pregnant

Tick, tock, tick, tock ... the baby girl is still baking happily away!! And as anxious as I am to meet her (and I am plenty anxious), I'm happy to have her in there for as long as she needs to be. As I was reminded at my appointment yesterday, each day she's inside me is a day she needs to be there.

38 weeks pregnant, y'all!

Things are moving along quite has they have been ... nothing new or exciting to report!! She's still kicking and squirming like crazy, and growing just as she should. I find myself needing to nap almost daily now (and for someone who's never really been much of a napper, this is saying something), and I seem to be getting plenty of exercising done just keeping up on things around the house (not to mention all the squatting down I do from picking or cleaning up those things I've dropped and/or spilled on the floor I just swept and mopped).

100% homegrown, all natural baby belly!

All in all though, I really have to say I'm feeling pretty darn good. Honestly ... I really can't complain. I mean, I do find myself dropping things all the time which does get frustrating. And it's increasingly difficult to clean up after the messes I find myself making. But I'm still enjoying the experience of pregnancy. As wonderful as it will be to have her in our arms, I know that once she's here there are going to be moments I'm going to miss the intimacy of the connection we share now.

James and I enjoyed his whole two days off together (!!) for Christmas and took the opportunity to do some more artistic-type belly shots before she gets here. We went to a park nearby our house with a blanket and a couple other little special things. Here are a few of my favorites from the day ...

Peace & bliss

Quiet and reflective

James' favorite

It continues to be important to me to find ways to include Ewan in our family life -- especially in the arrival of his little sister -- and this photoshoot was a fun way to do that. The blanket I used was a blanket a friend of ours made while we were in the hospital with him. She would read our updates, knit, and pray. Knit and pray, knit and pray. So even though he never got to use it, it really is his blanket, all that love and prayer for him woven into every fiber, and I like to think that that same love and prayer that surrounded him then surrounds us now at the arrival of his little sister.

So I rub my belly and continue to wait until she tells me it's time to arrive. Until then, may she bake and squirm away happily, as she has been.

Love you to the moon and back again, baby girl.

The Belly Report :: 37 Weeks Pregnant

Welcome to the sweet little place I like to call FULL TERM!!

37 weeks pregnant, baby!!

The due date may be three weeks away, but (for those of you not immersed in the world of baby-making lingo) today begins the span of time in which a baby can arrive prior to his or her due date and not be considered premature. All systems are GO. Woot woot!! We shall see if Miss Austen Brielle takes after her brother and wants to make an early entry, or if she's going to cozy up inside for the long haul and make us all wait impatiently for her arrival.

I saw the midwife on Monday and things are humming right along and gearing up for the big day. I'm measuring a centimeter ahead (at 38 weeks) and the total pregnancy weight gain is at 28.5 pounds (I think that's 3.0 pounds more than the last time I was weighed two weeks ago), BP is fabulous, baby's heart rate is skipping right along -- but the little stinker (oh, she is SO my child!!) moved out of her ideal birth position and back to the right side. It's a battle of the wills now and I'm going to do everything I can to spin that baby back into the ideal position (with the idea of making labor a bit easier, more efficient, and without the hideous back labor I had with Ewan).

Not a whole lot exciting going on here -- my workout routine has pretty well fizzled out. I've been fighting a cold (ugh) (and with that sinus congestion and phlegm comes severely shortened nights of sleep since it's hard to breathe) and besides that, I feel like the everyday work I do around the house is physical exertion enough right now. The rate at which I find myself dropping things and needing to pick them up is, in and of itself, a really great workout. And by the way, the belly support belt I got has been helping me out tremendously as far as my comfort level walking around goes, so that is one investment that was well worth it!!

So ... the clock is ticking. If you still want to cast your vote in the baby pool, click on the icon at the top of the left-hand sidebar. In the meantime, I'm going to get some rest while I can (thank goodness this cold is on its way OUT), and get the house ready to have a baby in it. So excited!!

The Belly Report :: 36 Weeks Pregnant

I have to admit, every time I see the number of days left on the countdown until my due date (28 days left as of today), I freak out a little -- especially considering Ewan arrived 17 days before his. Yikes! And next week, I'm technically considered full term?!

Does anyone else feel like I just announced I was pregnant? My, oh my.

According to BabyCenter, Austen Brielle should be about 6 pounds and 18.5 inches by now, though we're wondering if she's going to end up being on the longish side since her legs were measuring longer than average when we had our ultrasound. (And let me tell you, it certainly does feel like her legs are on the long side!!) It won't be too long until we find our for sure!!

Today's post is coming to you a bit later than normal because I started out the day with a chiropractor appointment, and then the home visit with my midwife. This means were so close!! Gah!! Crazy. Anyway -- everything is perfect. Blood pressure is on track, baby girl is measuring just one week ahead now (growth spurt much?) (nothing at all to worry about, by the way), and we're in the final countdown for her arrival. There's still so much I need to get done -- I hope it can happen before she gets here.

No major developments this week except to say I did end up getting a maternity support belt. It's amazing what a little elastic and velcro can do for a lady as pregnant as myself. Where I couldn't move around the house, let alone work out, without developing incredible round ligament pain over the last couple of weeks, now I can. Hallelujah! Now only if it would give me my normal non-Hobbit feet back ... guess I'll have to wait to give birth for that one. :o)

I guess that's all for now. The clock is really ticking! See you all next week. :o)

The Belly Report :: 35 Weeks Pregnant

Yowza!! 35 weeks?! D-Day is getting so close ... !!

Appointment Update
I had another appointment on Monday, and (are you ready for me to be totally and utterly predictable again??) everything is moving along perfectly. I gained another 1.5 pounds putting me at a total of 25.5 for the pregnancy, BP was great, baby's heart rate was in the 150s, and she's slowly moving into the ideal position for birth. She does move around a bit and tends to gravitate for that right side, but at least she's got the right idea in mind!! My next appointment is a week from today and after that ... it's WEEKLY visits until she's born. Crazy!!

How I'm Feeling
As far as how I'm feeling goes, I've definitely needed to slow down this week. [Insert sad face]. I've been keeping up with my yoga and workout routine, but have needed to make adjustments to make it easier. Despite making some modifications at the gym, I've really had to truncate my workout even further. I had been doing 20 minute walks on the treadmill after I did some resistance training, but had to move to the elliptical because of how the impact was hurting my ligaments -- the lower impact really seemed to work for me ... for about a week or so. Yesterday, I made it just 3-4 minutes on the elliptical before they were hurting too much to keep going.

I'm carrying Austen quite a bit lower than I did Ewan, so I think there's just that much more pressure on my pelvis and ligaments. Fun, huh? I have a really hard time "slowing down" in general (boy, if that isn't an understatement!!) and just because I'm huge and pregnant doesn't make it easier. It leaves me with less of a choice of course, but not any easier. ;o) One of the very nice super-muscly muscle men I see at the gym from time to time reminded me that it's hard work growing and carrying around another human all the time so that even if I'm not working out, I'm still working hard. Good reminder!!

Sigh. I suppose I should be thankful that I've been able to do as much as I have up until this point. I know that is a luxury not every pregnant woman is afforded!!

Getting Prepared

I didn't even have enough hangers (60) to finish hanging up the 0-3 month sizes we have!!

We are SO close to having everything done here at the house! James needs some help getting our desk and trunk in from the garage, but once that's done, it will be very easy for me to finish organizing the office. And then ... I will just have the normal daily stuff to worry about (cooking, cleaning, etc.) until baby girl arrives. Whoopee!!

In other "she's maybe a bit obsessive" news, I've been stocking up on every possible non-perishable thing from dry and canned goods to toilet paper to toiletries to cosmetics to make sure we don't have to go out for anything except for fresh produce and the first pediatric appointment or two once she's born. I imagine that for the first few days to a couple weeks or so, we'll just want to stay within the general vicinity of our home and neighborhood, so I'm hoping that buying all these things ahead of time will help facilitate that.

Stocking up on the things I use every day ... 

Told you I loved this stuff!!

I'm getting even more excited now!! We're so, so close. I hope you are all having a fantastic week and look forward to next week's update. :o)

The Belly Report :: 34 Weeks Pregnant

Whew!! 6 weeks to go (officially, at least). That's 42 days, people -- less than a month and a half!! Can you believe it? I do believe they call this "the home stretch."

(Do you think I'll make it that long?) (I'm already fairly certain that even my best maternity tops won't make it.)

Lovin' that belly!!

Just for fun: a side-by-side comparison. I dunno ... I think it's pretty close!!

I'm really feeling the third trimester this week. I've needed to modify my routine at the gym (going from the treadmill to the elliptical) and I feel a lot more winded in general (like, you know ... when I do something strenuous like get out of bed or stand up or something). And have I mentioned the round ligaments? Please tell me I am not the only pregnant lady who suffers from moments of excruciating round ligament pain! As the baby and belly get heavier, I imagine that will continue.

And the crazy movement continues!! Though she was a bit more chilled out yesterday, baby girl was really going at it on Monday. You know how most babies chill out and/or fall asleep when you're moving around: you know, doing chores around the house, walking, exercising, and so on? Yeah. That was NOT her. I felt her feet squirming and kicking all up in my ribs ALL day on Monday. Not kidding -- she did not ever quit. I still totally love it, but it really is getting to the point where it's uncomfortable and sometimes, downright painful. So long as she's growing and healthy and strong, though, I'm a happy (elated, thrilled, ecstatic) mama!!

How's that for perspective, eh?

I have to say though, I'm still feeling really great overall. My energy levels are good and I'm still able to do a lot of things around the house. James and I got a TON accomplished in the office this past weekend -- it is the last room in which anything needs to be done. I'll be so excited when we can finally be completely settled -- it will definitely help this mama relax a bit more.

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, I was really feeling in a funk about the whole Christmas thing. I love the season and all it means, but was mourning the fact that I'll never have all my family together this side of heaven. There isn't anything in the world that will make that not just completely stink. I thought of something that I thought might help, though -- getting Austen her stocking. I'm assuming she won't be here (as in, outside the uterus) by Christmas yet (though I know there are some of you who have bet that she will have arrived by that time!!), but there's no denying that she is VERY present these days. I had no preconceived ideas of what I was looking for, but wanted to see if anything jumped out at me as being "so Austen."

Stockings from L to R: Mama, Austen, Ewan, James

It didn't take long to find the one. The bright red one with all the multicolored jingle bells attached is hers. I just knew it. And I was right ... it was a bit easier to get in a festive mood with some Austen-specific decor to add to the mix (though because we don't have our tree yet, I haven't taken out the "Ewan" themed ornaments yet ... deep breath).

I guess that's it for now. We have an appointment coming up on Monday (when I'll be nearly ... wait for it ... 35 weeks pregnant) and after that, we will really be kicking into high gear getting ready for a baby to arrive. I can't believe it. I'm so excited to meet this little one!!

I hope you are all having a fantastic week, and I'll see you soon!!

The Belly Report :: 33 Weeks Pregnant

Less than 50 days until the due date. What?!

I know today's post is coming to you later than usual. We had a midwife appointment scheduled for first thing this morning, but it got rescheduled at the last minute since she was attending a birth (it's always something!!). After that, I had two other back-to-back appointments scheduled and just got home not all that long ago. So, suffice it to say we didn't have time to take the usual belly shot this morning -- which means today's belly photo is coming to you from the restroom at Target. Heh. I wish I was kidding!! When we get a shot with the "real" camera, I'll replace it. For someone who loves photography, posting a shot like this is just a tad embarrassing. ;o)

33 weeks pregnant.

I have to say, I think I'm hitting this stage of pregnancy at the perfect time. Just at that place when many women start to feel like the due date is decades rather than days away (and just when I'm at that stage where my feet and ankles look like they belong to a fat Hobbit about 30 seconds after they hit the floor in the morning), we're hitting holiday time. I'm hoping that the inevitable feeling of speed that the holidays bring to our days combined with the relative slowness of these final weeks of pregnancy will at least average out enough to feel like baby girl arrives in "no time at all!"

Hey. A pregnant lady can dream, can't she?

Speaking of dreaming, I washed a load of baby girl clothes last night. It was the most beautiful load of laundry I've ever seen. And since her feet were dancing around at the top of my belly last night, I tried to imagine what some cute little socks would look like on those cute little feet -- after I nom-nommed on them, of course!! And yeah ... that is seriously what my view of the belly is all the time. It really just sticks right out there.

In other news, we found a pediatrician!! James couldn't come because of his work schedule, but I went to a new parent night on Monday night at a nearby pediatrician's office. The doctor had an approachable, easygoing, and personable manner, and he has a lactation consultant on staff to boot (something specific I was looking for). I think I spoke with her for nearly an hour. He returns after hours parent calls within 30 minutes (something confirmed by multiple parent reviews independent of his website), and as an office, they're really big on educating parents with evidence-based research which personally, I find refreshing. There are a multitude of voices out there with the "best" ideas of how to parent and care for children, and I love that instead of offering up an opinion or regurgitating the latest hoopla out there, they're pointing parents to the scientific research and recommending that they base their decisions on that. Love it!

I'm spending some time these days with my nose in the massive volume of Dr. Sears' Baby Book. I'm just a few chapters in, but am really digging the common sense (also research-based) approach. It's a bonus that as James and I discuss these things, we find that we are in agreement on how we want to care for our daughter and any other children we have. We certainly have come to parenthood with some of our own ideas and while we know there's not a "one-size-fits all" approach to parenting, it's good for us to read books like this to get discussions going, to get a good idea of what to prepare ourselves for, and to find about things that maybe we haven't thought of ourselves. Like every other parent out there, I know we will find our stride and figure things out for ourselves just like every other parent has to!

Oh. And in other great news, the sunroom is FINISHED!! I am so in love with this space and can't wait to sit in there rocking our baby girl. Here's a peek of our progress ...

August 2011 (and it pretty much stayed this way for awhile!!)

Early November 2011

And this is now ...

The sliding glass doors open from the back of our living room.

The window you see looks into our kitchen.

This space has definitely become a haven for me. I love spending time in there in the mornings praying, being quiet, or just reading. It is such a peaceful space and lends itself well to quietness and calm. I just can't wait to rock and nurse a baby girl in there.

That's about all for now, I guess. I hope you all have a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving!! May you all be surrounded by the ones you love and find much for which to be grateful this season.

(And for those of you Black Friday shoppers, best of luck to you!! May you score some too-good-to-be-true deals and not get trampled or break any bones in the process. I will think of you after I've slept in until 10, enjoyed a pumpkin scone in my pajamas, and sipped on a hot mug of Teeccino). :o)

Happy Thanksgiving!!

The Belly Report :: 32 Weeks Pregnant

32 weeks -- and I think we're officially past the part of the pregnancy that feels like it's just whizzing by and into the part of it where 8 weeks, instead of feeling like it isn't very long, feels like it's FOR - EV - ER. I still feel really great and am remaining active, but dang ... the belly feels big enough now and I'm experiencing this growing little girl's increase in activity almost constantly (Did I say "increase"? Oh yes, I meant "increase") that wow ... I hope the holidays make my experience of time go a little bit faster. :o)

The baby websites tell  me she's a little over 17 inches long and weighs around four pounds, though lately I swear it feels more like twenty-four! I definitely want her to stay in there as long as she needs to and as long as is good for her (just so you know, I hate it when I hear "you must be so ready to be done!" -- given a choice between her well-being and my physical comfort, I'd choose her well-being every time) -- we need her to fatten up, grow healthy and strong, and bake in the mama belly for as long as she needs to!!

We are SO CLOSE to having everything ready to go around here, but I still have plenty to do around the house. I need to take advantage of the time I have left before she's due to arrive (also understanding that she could very well decide to arrive 2 weeks before the due date which would be 6 weeks from now which -- oh my goodness -- that really isn't far away at all). I'm taking lots of breaks and rest periods during the day to take care of both of us and keep my energy up while I tick things off my lists, but I'm one of those people who really needs to have my living space reasonably tidy and organized in order to feel like home is a haven and a peaceful space -- and that's why I'm working now to get things in order. Believe me, you do not need to remind me that it's going to be difficult (okay, "impossible") to get anything done once she's here!! I want to have things as organized and settled as possible so our home is not as difficult to maintain (for myself or for anyone helping me) once she's outside the uterus.

And what can we say about this week? I mentioned that I feel like the amount of activity has increased. I feel her moving pretty much ALL THE TIME now (which yes, I still love) and love watching my belly stretch and move in all sorts of different directions -- just about the only time I don't feel anything is if I'm already asleep (though I assume she keeps moving around then, too), or when I'm working out. One thing I really love lately is that when I go to bed and lie on my left side, she will stick out her little foot and trace back and forth with it across the top of my belly where I'm lying down. It's the weirdest/coolest feeling, and kind of tickles! But during the day, it doesn't matter what I'm doing -- if I'm on a walk or emptying the dishwasher or dusting or putting books on a shelf or cooking, I'm feeling her squirm around in there. Come to think of it, maybe I should add a couple pair of running shoes to my registry!

I'm definitely noticing more Braxton-Hicks lately, too -- nothing regular or frequent, but definitely more than I had last trimester (when I would notice one once every several days or so) -- my body is gearing up for the big day! Also, there have been some nights recently where I haven't slept as well because I've had a few nights in a row where my dream life has been both vivid and violent (normally I don't remember my dreams at all). Ugh. Cue insane sleep deprivation and consequent out-of-control pregnancy hormones. Because this resulted in me playing out my own version of "Attack of the Raging Pregnancy Hormones" yesterday (all induced by a mascara wand that I maintain had a mind of its own), I took a day off of my to-do list, took a 2-hour nap, and did restful, fun things instead. I put in a movie (it's not too early for "Elf," is it??), laid on the couch, worked a bit on my other blog, and didn't clean a single thing all day. It was heavenly.

Also, I think we found a pediatrician! He comes highly related by parents of the children he cares for (as well as our midwife), and his office is within 10 minutes of our home. An added bonus is that based on what I've read from his website, he takes a research and evidence-based approach to care and decision-making and supports parental choice and responsibility. I'll get a chance to meet him on Monday!

Oh, and another thing ... 

Speaking of all these things -- I wanted to let you know that I've made a conscious decision to be posting here less frequently as Austen's arrival gets closer. I want to make sure I'm focusing on those things I need to accomplish in order to get ourselves and our home ready for her. Since I spend anywhere from 2-4 hours getting the average post ready and I'm posting here on average about 4-5 times a week, this is definitely a way I can find some extra time for the things I need to do. I absolutely love investing the time I do in this blogging space (as well as the Team Ewan community on Facebook) and I still consider it a priority, but making sure I feel peaceful and ready for this baby girl to arrive needs to be Priority Number One right now! I'll still be posting weekly updates until she arrives and a probably couple other posts throughout the week, but I just wanted to let you know that that was the case. Thank you all for hanging in there with me and understanding. :o)

Have a great week, my friends, and we'll be seeing you again next week for Week 33!!

The Belly Report :: 31 Weeks Pregnant

31 weeks!! Craziness. I must confess that I've been getting ahead of myself this week. Whenever anyone has asked me how far along I am, I've had to stop myself several times from saying "Almost 32 weeks." Woops, not quite. Color me eager, I suppose!! I guess I'm just trying to play catch up with the general public who all seem to think I'm about ready to pop a baby out.

And now begins the not-so-long haul until baby girl comes. But going out in public and coming home unscathed is getting harder. If I had a dollar for every time I heard "That's going to be a big baby!" or "Wow, must be any day now!" I would be able to fill the truck full of premium gasoline. It was fun at my midwife appointment this week to meet one of the student midwives that I haven't met yet. She said, "Wow, not due until January -- that's going to be a big baby!" One of the other student midwives (one we've been working with since we've been seeing this midwife) said, "I know that's what it looks like, but seriously -- go measure her belly. She's consistently measured exactly to the centimeter. Seriously -- go measure it!"

So when the other student midwife measured the belly, lo and behold -- this mama was measuring exactly on track for this stage of pregnancy (to the centimeter). The new student midwife said she wouldn't have believed it unless she had seen it herself.

And while we're talking about my midwife appointment (I'm starting to feel like a broken record here -- but I'm not complaining!!), things are continuing to progress perfectly normally. Blood pressure is good, weight gain is now at a total of 23.5 pounds (James keeps hoping I'll pass him, but I'm not sure that's going to happen!), and baby girl's heart rate continues to hang out in the 140s. So, so thankful.

Austen has gotten some more gifts this week. Oh my goodness, it's going to be so much fun to dress her up and put those squirmy legs and kicking feet into some adorable little leggings and socks! And let us not forget the adorable onesies and tops and pants. Since we never got to see Ewan in any clothing last time (at least not while he was alive), we are so going to cherish all those little things.

The nesting instincts have really paid off this week, too. The sun room is pretty much finished! We just need to hang the lanterns I bought and then it will be ready to photograph and share. I've been spending a lot of quiet time in there -- it is such a peaceful space. All we have left now to complete is the office which is by all accounts a total disaster area right now. But we are making progress! Hopefully it will all get done before she comes -- because I don't stand a chance of finishing once she's here (the fact that our office also doubles as a guest room is added motivation. My family plans on coming shortly after she arrives and they are going to need a place to sleep!).

P.S. Thanks for all the votes so far in the Baby Pool!! It's fun to see everyone's guesses. I know it's early on yet -- it will stay open until the little one comes. :o)

The Belly Report :: 30 Weeks Pregnant

And here we are already at 30 weeks!!

30 weeks means there are 70 days left until my due date, by which time (if you ask the little old lady named Edna at the grocery store down the street) I will surely be the size of a planet. No really, this is hilarious. Oh honey, she tells me late last week. By that time, you will be SO HUGE and having a 9 or 10 pound baby for SURE! What made this particular exchange even funnier for me is that when I shared with her that I received similar comments with my previous pregnancy and ended up with a 6 lb 7 oz baby (born 2-1/2 weeks before his due date, but still), she said That's not right! Funny thing, I don't remember her being there when Ewan was born ....

I won't lie. I love my belly -- not quite as much as I love the little girl in it, of course -- who by the way is making her mama yell "Ow!!" with her kicking from time to time (particularly at night). I know I tell you every week how active she is, but seriously! She has her days where she's a tad more relaxed than others (as in, instead of kicking, nudging, or stretching 50 times an hour, it's more like 20-30), but for the most part the amount of energy in this child is crazy! She's going to be a lot of fun, I can tell.

In other news, I am in full on nesting mode. I've been making a lot of progress in getting things more organized and tidied up at the house. I've managed to eliminate the bulk of all our DVD cases, putting all the DVDs in a folder instead. The sun room has gotten a lot of attention lately too. A little less than 3 months ago, it looked like this:

It didn't get a whole lot better for quite awhile. I managed to remove all of the broken-down cardboard, recycled the packing paper (which I could have sworn was multiplying in there), and unpacked just a few more of the boxes in there in the weeks after that. But it wasn't until this past weekend that we finally got it cleaned up and ready for something to happen in there.

I've got big plans for this room including replacing those dark blinds with white curtains. I've also got a couple of hanging paper lanterns on the way to lighten it up in there a bit, and we're scouring Craigslist and other places for good deals on suitable furniture (I'm thinking a chaise or easy chair and a bookshelf). I'd also like to get a few plants in there to bring in some color since the stuccoed walls aren't good for hanging picures. I just want it to be simple, but comfortable and now that it's cooled off, to be able to use it every now and then.

Other than that, things are humming right along! I can't believe that it's already time to go back to the midwife next week (Monday). I'm keeping up on my fitness routine (alternating days at the gym with days at home doing a prenatal yoga video, and on Sundays, James and I typically go for a walk), and miss Austen is keeping busy moving and growing in there. Ewan was no slouch at all in the activity department, but I think his little sister is even MORE active. My only complaint (other than the occasional bout of feeling like my child is working out her Chuck Norris DNA) is sleep deprivation. I'll wake up around 5 or so in the morning many mornings not the least bit uncomfortable, still tired, not worried about anything -- just unable to sleep. It's the weirdest thing.

Speaking of which ... yawn. And Austen says to say "hello" and that she will see you soon!!

The Belly Report :: 29 Weeks Pregnant

29 weeks pregnant. What the ... ?!

I know the last couple of weeks of my pregnancy will probably go by too slowly, but for now they just keep whizzing by! Nearly to the end of October, we're really not too far away from getting to meet our baby girl who, by the way, is still growing, kicking, and reminding her mama at every opportunity just how feisty she is.

And just for comparison's sake, remember what I looked like 10 weeks ago??

We had our most recent midwife appointment on Monday and everything is great! No concerns (or need for more extensive testing) with my the gestational diabetes test, another month of modest weight gain (3 additional pounds for the past month, putting me at a grand total of 21 for the pregnancy), and still measuring exactly on track for one baby. Did you hear that, lady who thought I must be having triplets? I am measuring normally for having one baby! It's so nice to have that one up my sleeve in the event I need it. :o)

Since we're officially into the third trimester now, that means we're on to every other week appointments with the midwife. This made me realize even more how little time we have left until the due date! We've still got so much to do at the house and so many things we need to figure out before she comes. I'm checking on referrals for a pediatrician and we're gearing up for a baby shower in early December, though baby girl has been getting some really fabulous (and incredibly cute) things from friends and family lately. It's so exciting to open the boxes and packages that arrive at our door and see the sweet treats people are sending for her. One thing is for sure -- this kid is going to be decked out! It's so amazing to see just how many people really want to celebrate her with us and are just about excited about meeting her as we are.

I will share photos of more as the pregnancy progresses (because it is too cute not to share), but I thought I'd share just a couple of things baby girl has been gifted with so far.

To adorn the legs that love to kick!

For those dancing feet!

Thanks to everyone (really, truly) for celebrating her with us. It's special to all of us that you care so much! And I'll definitely show off more in future posts. :o)

Oh, and you know those pillows I mentioned in last week's belly update? My chiropractor has noticed a huge difference! When I went for my appointment yesterday, there was barely anything at all for her to adjust, and my pelvis (which had previously kept getting incredibly torqued out of place, making one leg a bit shorter than the other) has stayed in place for the second visit in a row. Yeehaw! She said to keep doing whatever I am doing. Will do, since my back is feeling so much better (and we love saving on those $20 co-pays)!

And I just have to mention that the gym is one of my favorite (and most positive) places to be right now. When I went last week, one of the staff mentioned how hard he always sees me working when I'm there. And just yesterday, another member who is expecting his first grandchild (also due in January) applauded me for continuing to exercise like I am, knowing that it's not only good for me, but the baby as well. He said his daughter thinks of pregnancy like a sickness and as a result, doesn't really exercise. If I'm going to get comments on the belly, those kinds are the ones on which I'd like to focus!

I think that's all we have for now! See you all next week. :o)

The Belly Report :: 28 Weeks Pregnant

Woot woot!! Welcome to Trimester #3!!

I can hardly believe that today marks the beginning of the final trimester of my pregnancy. If this trimester goes whooshing by like the others, I will have a baby girl in my arms before I know it! I still feel like I just shared the news that I was pregnant again, and here we are already -- Week #28.

BabyCenter tells me that Austen is roughly 2.5 pounds and about 15 inches long from head to heel, and boy, is she is using those heels to dance, dance, dance. My guess is that it's the can-can. And I kid you not, I swear the little one is keen to when I have the camera turned on her. She will be moving and grooving right along and as soon as I get the camera on, everything gets quiet and still -- so I haven't gotten any good video of her antics this week, but it's been fairly hilarious to see just how far those little feet can stick out of my belly.

In other news, I have finally discovered the secret to getting a good night's sleep. Now I didn't realize going into it that with second (and subsequent) pregnancies, all those hormones that help the baby out later on start kicking in a good deal earlier, meaning that discomfort in certain areas (ahem!) that didn't begin until the third trimester or so last time kicked in several weeks ago this time -- and with greater intensity than the first time around. 

Hip pain has been an ongoing issue with this pregnancy, as has been waking up with an incredibly angry back (and neck -- and shoulders). I couldn't figure out why using the same configuration of pillows as I did before didn't help like it did last time -- but I have finally discovered the secret to sleeping sans hip pain at night and to waking up with a very happy back indeed. I learned from the chiropractor yesterday that my pelvis is in a much happier place (I know you were all wondering -- so now you can rest easy), so I have to conclude that the change I've made is really working.

What I'm about to describe is, I am sure, horribly dull and unworthy of mention to the general populace -- but just in case there is some other poor pregnant lady who is reading this someday, wondering why she can't sleep at night with her aching hips or without waking up with a back that has completely mutinied on her, I will describe what has worked for me and (hopefully, potentially) give her a way to alleviate her misery.

Taking a cue from the fact that I was resting so comfortably on our couch with my hip resting in the crease between the cushions, I took two very firm regular pillows and positioned them horizontally on our bed, one right above the other. I placed them about a palm's width apart, resting on my side with the widest part of my hip in the space between the two pillows. The top of the upper pillow comes to just below my armpit. Not only does this more evenly distribute the pressure across my whole side when I'm sleeping (instead of concentrating it in the hip area, as it had before), but it also relieves stress on whichever shoulder is resting on the bed -- an area that also took a beating at nighttime. 

Like so.

I'm still using my Boppy body pillow, just on top of these two that I put on the bed. Because these pillows supporting my side underneath also do a good job of supporting my belly, I've taken the Boppy wedge pillow and positioned it underneath the head of the body pillow. Because of the wedge shape, I can adjust to varying degrees just how much my head is elevated so it is the most comfortable. This also helps remove any pressure on the shoulder that is resting on the bed. I kid you not, I can sleep on my left side comfortably all night long without rolling over multiple times. Just about anyone who's been pregnant before can appreciate just how truly miraculous this is.

The total configuration.

Like I said, I realize this is horribly dry stuff and I don't know that it would work for everyone, but changing around these pillow positions has made a world of difference for me. I am sleeping through the night without pain, the neck and shoulder tension I was previously experiencing is gone, and I'm able to move through my day very comfortably without feeling like my spine is going to snap in half. Glory hallelujah!! It's even truer now than it was before: I'm feeling completely FANTASTIC.

Other than that, nothing too exciting to report. My next midwife appointment is this coming Monday and that means it's everybody's favorite time -- the glucose test. Blech. I've ingested some truly nasty liquids in my life (barium sulfate, anyone?), and luckily this one doesn't seem nearly as horrid to me as I've heard some people describe. But it will still be nice to get the whole thing over and done with, to find out I don't have anything to worry about where gestational diabetes is concerned (which I'm assuming since I didn't have it last time and since my weight gain has been modest by comparison this time around -- but we'll see), and to go on my merry way toward our due date.

Conversation!
If you're interested, we're discussing on the Team Ewan page in Facebook today what our favorite parts of pregnancy are. I know there are plenty of aches and pains that come with the territory (and that some pregnancies are so incredibly difficult that not being pregnant anymore may be the favorite part) -- but if it's baby kicks or setting up the nursery or picking out clothes -- feel free to discuss!

Third trimester, anyone? Here we go!

The Belly Report :: 27 Weeks Pregnant

Will someone please explain to me how in the world we've already arrived at the final week of the second trimester? I could have sworn I just told you I was pregnant.

In any case, here we are. Behold the blooming belly!!

There isn't a whole lot to report this week in the way of things that are new -- though I will say that the haircut is new, which really doesn't directly relate to pregnancy, but having gone a little more than three months without one, I was more than ready and thus incredibly happy that the load on my head has been lightened. My hips still hurt, and I'm definitely getting my money's worth at the chiropractor when I go. Austen still rolls, squirms, and kicks like crazy and I'm still getting asked if 1) I'm sure there aren't two in there, and 2) If my due date is correct.

It's an emphatic YES on both counts.

This past weekend, when we were out for James' birthday, I got a belly size-related comment that as far as this pregnant lady is concerned, ranks in my top three worst unsolicited pregnancy comments of all time. After a feast at Red Lobster for his birthday, James wanted a hot fudge shake from Dairy Queen. So we found the closest one and I bought him his hot fudge shake. The woman who took our order, who was wackily and ridiculously uninhibited, asked when I was due.

Here we go, I thought.

I told her I was due in January and bit my lip when she raised and extended the fingers of her left hand so she could count on her right hand how many months it was until January.

Well, there must be at least two in there! she said.

James, who had just minutes before talked about how fun it would be to mess with the person who asked me about it said, No! In fact, there are three! as he patted my belly proudly.

Well, I was thinking ...  she said.

For those of you who are wondering, she did escape from this encounter unscathed -- not that I wasn't tempted. And it reminded me a lot of this particular encounter in Kansas last summer. Everybody's an expert, eh? I've always wondered -- would someone really explode if they didn't get to tell me (or any other pregnant lady) just how big she was? ... because 1) Chances are she already knows, and 2) Your safety simply not be guaranteed when making size-related remarks to a woman hopped up on massive amounts of Mama Bear hormones.

Sigh.


Group Discussion Time
I remember asking this last time I was getting the size-related comments in my pregnancy with Ewan, but for those of you out there who have had similar experiences, I'd love to know how you responded to or handled these. Most of the time, I just let it slide or tell them I'm doing and feeling great, but ones like these make me wish people would just put a sock in it. I love telling people that I am measuring exactly on track for a woman pregnant with one baby, but they don't seem to believe me.

Feel free to discuss on the Team Ewan page on Facebook. I can't wait to hear what you have to say!

Until next week then!

* * * * *

There is still plenty of time to submit names and share the link for the Say Their Names project. Names will be accepted through 3 pm (EST) on Friday, October 14. No name will be overlooked!

The Belly Report :: 26 Weeks Pregnant

Has it really been a week already since I last updated you? Geesh, time flies when you're assiduously gestating (except those last couple of weeks -- or when someone's feet are stuck up in your ribs -- right?)!

As you can see, Austen and I are continuing to bloom and grow! One of us -- and I won't tell you who -- really likes to practice kicking whenever she can and for as long as she can, even when it's nearly 1 am and the other one of us is exhausted and trying to sleep. All I can say is, thank God I am alive and pregnant in a time where there are such things as heating pads, back stretchers, and chiropractors! That belly of mine does some good tugging on the spine and hips, and with this short waist of mine, the ribs are starting to get a bit sore.

BabyCenter tells me that Austen is about 14.5 inches long from head to foot (visualize a long English cucumber, only not so slender and green) and weighs close to two pounds. I am starting to feel like a planet as we close in on the third trimester (what?!!?), and this little girl doesn't even weigh two pounds yet. Crazy!

I hardly need to tell you that this week has been an intensely emotional one as we observed the one year mark since Ewan died. In the past year, none of the anniversaries or milestones we've marked have knocked me off my feet so completely like this one did. Even as I saw the date approaching, I really didn't expect to find my feelings tied so closely to the date. Experiencing the intensity of emotion I did on Monday was a surprise, and writing yesterday's post was not something I anticipated. But in grief, I've learned to expect the unexpected and as one Team Ewan community member noted on Facebook recently -- when it comes to grief, "there are no rules."

It has really stretched me this week to grieve my son on the anniversary of his death and to feel such joy and levity when Austen kicks like a soccer star in training. I thought again about what it means to love them both, to try and let my heart stretch that far: between the streams of grief and bliss that run concurrently -- in fact, between the child buried in Seattle and the one alive and growing in my belly. I laughed at her antics even with tears running down my face as I remembered the details of our last night with Ewan. My heart was experiencing two wildly divergent emotions at once. The pull from both is so very strong and sometimes, I feel more likely to break in half than stretch that wide.

I did the only thing I could think of when I was experiencing this the other day -- I started to talk to Austen about him. I started to rub my belly and speak sweetly to Austen about her older brother. Listen Austen, I said. I want to tell you about your big brother. He is really quite amazing ... someone incredibly special. He was so very brave and he fought so hard to stay with us. I can't wait for you to get to know him. I told her how much I missed him, and how much I couldn't wait to meet her, hold her, and play with her. I told her about how Ewan helped me to love her better. Talking to her about him seemed like the only sane way to hold both -- to be honest in my feelings about what I was experiencing in remembering Ewan, and in the excitement I have for the daughter I have yet to meet.

And I just have to say to the other mothers I know who have lost a son or daughter and dared to risk and love again by welcoming another child into your family, I honor you. Really. Truly. You have the most beautiful hearts and I can't even begin to convey how much respect I have for you.

To wrap this up, I wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone for all the love and support demonstrated on what ended up being an emotionally bumpy couple of days. Honestly, I wasn't expecting the intensity of emotion that I experienced when October 3 and 4 rolled around. But true to form, you never fail to amaze me with your support and understanding.

And this little one? Let's just say that this mama will be amazed if she manages to make it through this pregnancy without bruised ribs (what goes around comes around, right Mom?). Gosh, I love her!! :o)

* * * * *

Stay tuned for a special announcement in the next couple of days for something I have planned for observing Pregnancy and Infant Lost Awareness month.

The Belly Report :: 25 Weeks Pregnant

It's Wednesday, and that means it's time for a bump update and the weekly photo of yours truly, who appears to have swallowed a beach ball (or at the very least, stuffed one under her shirt).

[The "Conversations" series will resume tomorrow with a topic that really gets me going. I'll be very interested to hear from anyone who has experience with the same thing. A HUGE thank you to everyone who has contributed to the conversations on the Team Ewan page on Facebook -- I'm learning so much from you, love your stories, and appreciate the unique perspectives you all bring. And dare I say, it's been fun! It's great to hear from you -- many for the first time -- and to get to know some of you a bit better.]

[Oh, and thanks for your patience with our internet issues. We're still waiting to hear back from the only provider who hasn't said one way or the other that they don't service our area.]

We had our 24 week appointment this past Monday, and everything is as normal as can be. Yes!! I love getting to be a very normal and very boring pregnant lady. Baby's heart rate is great, everyone is measuring right on track, and I'm shocked at my weight gain -- or lack thereof, rather. I've gained just 2.5 pounds since my appointment last month for a grand total of 18. Not that I'm complaining -- it's just that in my pregnancy with Ewan, I put on at least two thirds of my total pregnancy weight gain in the first twenty weeks (even with all the offerings I was making at the "porcelain throne"), so this slow and steady stuff is taking me by surprise. Go figure!

And you know what I realized? I'll be in my third trimester by the time I have my next checkup in four weeks. Ah!! It's going by so fast!! (I have a feeling I'll be saying that lot).

Austen Brielle is still plenty active, and at most hours of the day. This morning she was holding a full-on dance party in my belly. I've been trying to get some good video of it for my family but she tends to get all shy on me as soon as the camera is on. I love feeling these not-so-little anymore bumps from the inside. Definitely one of my favorite parts of being pregnant. But ha!! I outsneaked her and caught some of her antics on camera ...

In other news, my back has really been feeling this pregnancy. Even with all the yoga, stretching, and back exercises I've been doing, it seems like I'm feeling the strain more this time around. I'm adding heat to the regimen and am seeing a chiropractor, but am hoping I don't really have to go as often as they say to feel better. All those $20 co-payments really add up!

Since we're on the topic of backs, I should also add I finally figured out the pillow configuration that works best for me at night, and it's with less pillows instead of more. I realize this may sound very mundane, but for a lady whose hips, back, and neck have been hurting enough at night to keep me awake for a few hours a night the past 6-7 weeks, I'm pretty darn excited about it. I'm using the Boppy Prenatal Body Pillow, the Boppy Prenatal Wedge, as well as a regular pillow between my ankles, and one to wrap my right arm around as I sleep on my left side. It works really well as long as I don't feel an urgent need to turn over. The memory foam cover on our mattress is a lifesaver, too!

Sigh. A well-rested expectant mama is a happy one. We will see you all again soon!

The Belly Report :: 24 Weeks Pregnant

The post that might otherwise be known as: How Big is She Now?

And here's your answer:

Well. I don't know if I look any bigger than I did last week. I'm guessing that I am. But I don't feel a lot bigger. And over the past 6 weeks, I definitely felt the change -- in my hips, my back, my belly. Oooh, boy ... did I feel it!! But this week, I am happy to say that I do not yet feel as though I've attained the size of a dwarf planet. Thank goodness for small miracles. ;o)

Either way, Austen is growing, hiccuping, kicking, rolling, body-slamming, punching, and sometimes I think she even rests. It's just never at the same time that I need to. Little girl doesn't seem to sit still too much! Takes after her mom that way -- I better watch out.

The pregnancy websites tell me she's about as long as an ear of corn now, weighs in at just over a pound, and will be packing on that adorable baby chub soon. That's a good thing. We definitely want some luscious baby fat to squeeze and kiss and love!

In other news, I finally got myself to a good chiropractor (I'm not going to write more than what's contained in these parentheses about the bad one I went to about a month ago -- the one that not-so-indirectly accused me of being responsible for Ewan's heart defect. Everyone's an expert, eh?) and got adjusted this morning. My back is feeling so much better!! I've always had a fairly high tolerance for pain, so I didn't think I was feeling terribly uncomfortable -- but my goodness, I'm feeling AMAZING after getting my first adjustment in about three and a half months. Nice.

I'm still keeping up on my yoga/gym routine (alternating between the two for six days a week and taking one day of rest), still eating healthy except for when I occasionally snag a handful of chocolate chips, and still getting up some mornings at 3 am not able to go back to sleep. At least with today's insomnia (after giving up on trying to get back to sleep at about 5:30 am), I was able to get in two loads of laundry, make some homemade granola, empty the dishwasher, and catch up on some blog reading -- and all by 8 am. Here's to hoping a nap will make it in later sometime today.

Yeah, right.

Until next week, then!! Happy Wednesday to all.

The Belly Report :: 23 Weeks Pregnant

Well. And today we see why this is called "The Belly Report." I feel like a hippopotamus! Or as James likes to say, "You're busting out with girlish pride."

Or something like that.

23 weeks pregnant with one (human) baby

I know, right?!

And since I'm in somewhat of a self-deprecating mood today, here are a few outtakes from today's photo shoot. James' own version of Beyonce goes something like this: "All the Kirsten ladies" or alternately, "All the pregnant ladies," and then "If you like it then you should-a put a baby in it ..." which he was singing while taking my picture.

"Are you sure it's not twins?" "Are you sure you've got a January baby in there? Looks more like October."

My deepest, sincerest apologies to Beyonce (who inspired these moves)

Strangers here seems to be a lot kinder. Or maybe it's just that they know to keep quiet instead of coming up to me and saying, "You must be due any day now, right?" or, "What are you doing at the gym? Shouldn't you be in the hospital pushing?!" It might also have something to do with the fact that I'm not out in public quite as much. Either way, it's nice not to have to deal with unsolicited comments of a size-oriented nature. 

Since we're on the topic, here's the thing about me and belly size. I'm not built like a Russian supermodel, but neither do I seem (so far) to produce particularly big babies. Ewan was born at 37-1/2 weeks and weighed 6 lbs 7 oz and was 18.5" long. He was in the 50th percentile for all his measurements when he was born except for that great big noggin of his which was in the 90th percentile (we can thank my side of the family for that particular trait). But for the most part, he was pretty average in terms of his size. (And off the charts when it comes to cuteness. I'm just sayin'). When it comes to this pregnancy, (and I know ultrasound measurements can be off) Austen is measuring in the 55th percentile in size for her gestational age, with the exception of some long legs (a trait not from my side of the family) that are a couple weeks ahead of that.

I might have a smallish-to-average sized body frame (which is likely something of a factor), but I think the main culprit is being short in the waist, on top of which I'm the type of person that you can't really tell is pregnant from behind (take my word for it) -- the belly sticks straight out, having nowhere else to go. And on top of which this is my second pregnancy in less than two years. So yes, it looks to some people like I'm carrying a woolly mammoth. Or a baby elephant. Or triplets. What can I say? We can't all look like Gisele Bundchen when we're with child.

In other belly-related news, I'm feeling miss Austen move and kick A LOT more. I feel and see her kicks and squirms on a regular basis now. It is so much fun -- this is easily one of my favorite parts of being pregnant -- and it delights me to watch her move around like she does. What a personality! I can't wait to meet her.

Aaaaand ... I've added just a few fun little Austen-y details to the nursery. Okay, okay you've twisted my arm! I'll show you  ...

I hung the wooden letter "A" inside the frame, and added the ultrasound picture of her little feet.

Austen's room must have a copy of Jane Austen in it! This volume used to belong to James' grandmother.

Pictures of both my babies

I've barely made any progress in this room or any others over the last couple of weeks. Day-to-day things seem to have taken over, on top of which this belly growth has me needing to lie down with a large collection of pillows more frequently (as of last night, I am up to six). Make no mistake, as fun as it is, growing people is hard work!

I hope you all are having a great week! The photo reflection series leading up to Ewan's birthday on Sunday will resume tomorrow.