11 August 2010

love & light

Thank you all so much for your comments on my last post -- because of the kindness of others, I've met so many moms who have had babies with Tetralogy of Fallot, and/or survived it themselves. I'm meeting many families who have walked and are walking a path with other CHDs. It's so encouraging to know that we are surrounded by the love and prayers of so many and that we won't walk this path alone. You know what we're facing and about to face -- and I'm so thankful that you're here and have welcomed us so readily into this community.

Early in my pregnancy, I was pretty sick. I was throwing up fairly regularly until about 19 weeks. This didn't leave much time (or inspiration ... or energy, for that matter) for my photography and other creative pursuits.

And now I find I can hardly stop! I wouldn't wish a CHD on any family, but I will say that knowing about Ewan's heart has helped me cherish this whole pregnancy experience much more than before I knew -- every moment I have with him is one I guard carefully. No kick or roll or nudge goes unnoticed or unappreciated. I thank God for my sore morning hips and for the fat ankles because uncomfortable as they are, it's all because I get to love and nurture this baby in such a unique way right now -- in a way that no one else can.

All of this has been inspiring to me creatively. As much as I love them, sometimes words are wholly inadequate, and so I try to find other ways to convey how I experience my pregnancy and this special time I have with Ewan. Here are a few recent works where I have really seen this to be true ...

NOTE: You can click on any of the photos to view a larger version of the image.

bathed in love & light // by kirsten michelle (2010)
In the one above, I was feeling inspired by how much love, support, and prayer we've received since we found out about Ewan's heart and made the effort to reach out to others for help. We really have been bathed in love and light since this whole experience began, and that has made all the difference in the world.

psalm 147:3 // by kirsten michelle (2010)
This one is more of a collage: the anatomical drawing of the heart is by Leonardo da Vinci, and I added the textures and the words of the psalm. It seems so terribly obvious now that it's staring me in the face, but it was just a few nights ago that I considered this Psalm in relation to Ewan and to all the other heart families I've been meeting: so many people with incredible faith in spite of incredible odds. I thought of all of you when this came together.

fearfully & wonderfully made // by kirsten michelle (2010)
This one combines the first photo with another da Vinci drawing of a baby in the womb. I love the idea of getting a peek inside, of getting a glimpse of the little person we are waiting for.

Thanks again everyone, really. Though our circumstances haven't changed, I'm feeling more at peace about knowing that God knew about this long before we did -- and that with all the ways in which He's blessed us along this journey so far, that He will not abandon us or this baby now. He will provide -- probably in a way we couldn't plan for or expect, but I know we can rely on it all the same.

BIG heart hugs to you all,


Nadine said...

You look so pretty! I can't believe you're already 32 weeks!!! :) Wow! Little Ewan is going to be here soon! I look forward to seeing pictures of his sweet little face!
I love your pictures! I wish you lived near me so you could take some of me! :) That collage is absolutely amazing! Much love!

Jen said...

Those are amazing pictures! I'm so glad you do not feel alone in this journey. We are all here for you! :)

Jen, Craig & Andrew
Heart mommy to Andrew, TOF

Pink (AKA Lucia) said...

Your artwork is so beautiful, especially the one with the baby still in the womb that Da Vinci drew. I love anatomy artwork. One of my clinic has a logo with the guy standing with his arms out and legs standing apart and then standing with feet together and arms still out but down even with his shoulders, and I thought it was beautiful.

You did such a great job! So creative!