04 November 2010

If I don't have much to say ...

... it's because my friend is here to help me cry. 

The place where he is laid to rest

It continues to be the case with me that the things I expect to be difficult (going into his nursery, visiting his grave site, seeing babies out in public) aren't as difficult as I anticipate them to be. For me, the difficulty continues in those unexpected moments of stillness and silence and remembering. The tension between the truth of what he now enjoys and the loss we must endure continues to pull at me.

Sometimes the hardest thing is just to let that tension be -- not to ask the feelings to surrender to the truth or for the truth to surrender to the feelings. Just to let them both remain.

11 comments:

Lisa said...

so glad that Christianne is there with you. sending you hugs and prayers from western canada today...

KLaw said...

My heart is with you today and always. Thinking about you.

terri said...

it's good to cry in the company of a friend who's not afraid of your tears. i'm so looking forward to being in your company soon.

Carolina Carters said...

I'm glad your friend is there to help you cry...and hopefully help you smile too! Always praying for you!

Sarah said...

So so so glad you're crying with Christianne today. Not glad you're crying, but glad that she can hold your tears. Walk soft today, friend. I'll see you soon.

Chrissie said...

Enjoy this time with your friend. Praying for you x

felmleyfam said...

i think you said it perfectly.
we're praying for you in the tension.
we are thankful you have time with a friend.

Stefenie said...

Praying. Glad your friend is helping you get through this.

Anonymous said...

Continually thinking about you and praying for you.

Courtney Laine Carris said...

Peace on Ewan's 1 month Angel Day. It does become easier, I promise.
Cami

not2brightGRAM said...

My life has had an overarching theme of Seasons. Rebecca even did a gorgeous embroidered piece for me on my 40th birthday, showing the four seasons. Ecclesiastes 3 underscores the truth that there is a season for everything.

"...a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak..." (3:7)

It's okay, whatever you are feeling and doing now. And, my dear friend, it is a Season that will pass. XOXO